dreaming of or can seal the deal on bringing that hottie back home with you.
Interpersonal attraction is what makes this world churn and turn, so become a
gear to this machine and make your mark known.
In the modern world where opportunity is scarce, we are and should be looking
to capitalize on every break that life throws at us. The sharp crudeness of life
puts us on edge for the unknown, while catapulting us to heights of
insurmountable achievement as we test our humanly-limits. Yet these very same
limits cannot be tested without the initial contingency to allow our inner
entrepreneur, or alpha, to blossom.
Meeting people is easy. Being remembered is the curveball of communication
and interaction. The biggest factor in determining interpersonal attraction in
Western culture is the physical attractiveness of the two parties meeting.
Without getting into the semantics and egocentrism of determining one’s beauty
or attractiveness, not everyone is considered attractive in accordance with
societal or personal norms. Beauty is in the eye of the beholder, meaning you
have to do everything to make damn sure this “beholder” thinks you’re the best
thing since water.
Confidence is key to determining interpersonal attraction. The term
confidence can be recognized as the cliché personal virtue and fortitude. But
confidence can also mean a comfortable indifference in which your interaction
with another person is as natural as possible. Make every conversation seem like
a conversation with your best friend.
Regardless of whom you are meeting for the first time, talking nonchalantly
as if you knew them your entire life will naturally spark the relationship.
However, being careless with your word-choice and tone can make you
uninteresting and flat-out boring. Conversely, over-forced assurance can display
unnatural vibes of hubris that will also negatively label you as cocky or
People tend to naturally dissect or size-up someone before they meet, playing
this psychological “game” of identifying the attractive qualities in a person,
hoping they remain true throughout their conversation. Usually these looked-for
qualities are reflective of our own personalities as most people are looking for
compatibility within intimate or business relationships. As we discover the
underlying characteristics of each other, perceptions arise to match the face.
You’re only as good as your last play, and if your last play is perceived as
someone untrustworthy or a flat-out creep, then it’s time to polish up your
Finding the equilibrium of your personality is the key to being introduced
and never having to be introduced again. Predicting interpersonal attraction is
tough in the first place. Not knowing whether your new boss or your hot neighbor
likes you is a tricky situation. The very first conversations people have are
vital to a relationship, as these initial perceptions hold a bias for future
interactions amongst these persons. They create a context around a person so
they can subsequently be assessed again.
Knowing how to be humorous while being taken seriously takes time and
experience. The awkwardness of a first introduction, particularly in an intimate
relationship, sucks. In the moment where perfect ice breakers and conversation
starters are hard to come by, awkwardness can and will consume you, leading to
dead ends with nothing to talk about. Yet there is a possibility that this
awkwardness can be used in your advantage. Sometimes the opposite sex finds
innocence and awkwardness to be cute and adorable.
Use it. Adapt.
One thing I’ve learned toward interacting is that the awkwardness of an
initial conversation can be avoided by simply being upfront about how awkward a
situation is getting. It sounds counterintuitive, but being frank and honest
tends to avoid the bubbly awkwardness of a first conversation. More importantly,
being natural about your awkwardness is paramount in keeping a level head in any
conversation. Make your awkwardness seem habitual and soon this awkwardness
quickly turns into charm.
Be prepared for the innate butterflies of nervousness, be calm in the face of
awkwardness and most importantly be memorable. Your reputation and presence are
interconnected and synonymous; make sure that both are polished bowling balls
ready to throw strikes. They will be put to the test the instant you shake the
hand of your potential client or potential lover. Making a lasting first
impression is like treading on the tightrope of risk. This is chess, not
Andre Simpson | Elite.